Peribloom Newsletter - Vol. 13 - Awakening
Vol. 13 - Awakening
"Andrea, you are meant for something more."
As my boss said those words, I knew my time as his COO was ending. He meant that I should be at a larger firm, with a bigger seat, doing more complex versions of what I had already done at his company.
What I heard was the culmination of a multi-decade career, arriving four months before my fortieth birthday.
The disciplined and diligent part of me went straight to work. I researched companies and roles, I called recruiters, and I interviewed. As the roles lined up and the offers came in, a feeling settled over me that I could not argue my way out of: everything felt like rinse and repeat. Another firm, a longer title, the same days, the same problems to solve.
While I understood what the feeling was telling me,
I did not know how to process it.
The feeling I had by thirty-nine was not exhaustion. I was not burned out. I was very good at my work; things were going well and I enjoyed it. Yet I could not answer what all my output was for.
Why was this happening to me and why now?
I had spent most of my life building capability on the assumption that purpose would become evident once I had attained enough. At some point, the building itself had become the objective, but I never asked myself whether that was my goal.
What shifted for me was understanding how the body holds what the mind pushes away.
I do not think this is unusual among women who are good at achievement. We construct a life on criteria we absorb early and rarely revisit, and in a culture that rewards accumulation, this works — which is exactly what makes it difficult to see.
The question of purpose gets set aside for the priorities in front of us, but the body keeps its own record of everything that was postponed.
***
This fall I have been working with a small group of women, looking at what happens in the body as we enter midlife and revisiting the identities we built on the way here. What has struck me most is how closely their language matches each other's, and mine.
They describe their lives as a well-run loop, cycling with little to tell each week apart. Nearly all of them describe a guilt that does not attach to anything in particular, a sense of not doing enough that persists no matter how much they do. Most of them are also tired in a way that sleep does not fix.
None of these women are failing. On paper, they are highly capable, respected leaders in their businesses, and they lead busy, full lives.
Rinse and repeat was my version of the same thing.
***
When did enough start to
feel like a burden?
Is that version of enough
actually yours?
If any of this sounds familiar and you are intrigued to learn more
about the program, I'd love to connect with you.
Peribloom is a program for women who are ready to feel seen, supported, and be in control of their health. If you're on a journey to better understand your body and reclaim your energy, you're not alone.
Forward this newsletter to a friend who is also ready to thrive — let’s take this journey together.
*This email is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or health regimen, especially if you have an existing medical condition or family history of disease.
With gratitude,
Andrea
@peribloom.care
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